The novel "Shadow Tag", by Louise Erdrich was an excellent read. There were so many different issues that were explored in this novel. Sexuality, Drug and Alcohol Abuse, as well as Domestic Violence. Irene and Gil had a tumultuous relationship. They loved each other, but were also very dependent on the behaviors of the other partner in the relationship. That type of codependency in turn cost them their children, the loss of their relationship and their lives.
Gil was very abusive, physically, emotionally and mentally. He was physically abusive with his children, as well as verbally abusive; the same with his wife, Irene. A lot of his abuse affected the mental stability of the lives of his wife and children. Stoney his small child was a kindergartner,withdrawn; Florian an uber intelligent, introvert, and substance abuser;Riel was a troubled adolescent who lived her life through daydreams. All of these characters were affected by Domestic Violence, in one form or another, and it played out in their lives from childhood through adulthood.The example that these parents set for their children would plague them for years to come.
Domestic Violence affects 2 out of 4 families in the United States alone.
WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Domestic Violence is defined as violent and emotional abuse behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control another; Parents, single or unmarried, gay, lesbian, heterosexual or other wise. Some examples of Domestic Violence are as follows: Name calling (curses or expletives), fighting (hitting, pushing, punching, pinching, wrenching, pulling, tugging), sexual assault, keeping tabs or stalking the other partners, checking emails, messages, phone logs to be used as tools for keeping the person from going outdoors (leaving the home). Keeping individuals from working, spending money. Controlling money, or withholding money. Put downs, threatening physical harm, damage to the person/people, like suicide or homicide. Psychological, emotional and financial abuse aren't considered criminal, but these practices can lead to criminal behaviors.
WHO CAN BE A VICTIM?
Anyone can be a Victim of Domestic Violence. Any one of any race, creed, religion, sexual preference, ethnicity,culture, education, and marital status. Children in the home are often victims as well. Children are often abused and neglected. Children may show no signs of abuse outwardly but as with any one being abuse the emotional scars often lead to them acting out on their emotions and behaviors.
CYCLE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Physical: Threats
Manipulation
Using Children
Economic Abuse
Using Male Privilege
Sexual: Intimidation
Isolation
Emotional Abuse
Denying and Blaming
Sexual Assault
Unfortunately Domestic Violence is NEVER a one time Event, its a continuous reoccurring cycle.
GET HELP
*CALL the Police. 911
*Find the support in family, friends, coworkers.
*File an Emergency/Personal Protection Order with the courts.
*Create a safety plan for getting away for yourself and any children involved.
*Seek Medical Attention.
*Find a safe place.
*If you have been physically abused: take photos, tell the police the number of times, show all bruises, tell them of any prior abusive situations, take all precautions. PRESS CHARGES ON YOUR ABUSER.
Contact the National Domestic Violence helpline@ 800-799-7223
Care enough for yourself and the lives of your children to end the Domestic Violence Cycle. Get help, get out!!
www.domesticviolence.org
Really informative and helpful post. It's interesting to break down one of many issues that were taking place in the household of Irene and Gil. I would say abuse was one of the issues that was a canopy over everything else. It was a means of taking control, taking out bitterness and frustration, and simply fighting the boredom of the family mundane. None of these are okay, but then again their family wasn't "okay" either. It is so sad to see the effects of abuse on children because it can shape who they are for the rest of their lives. Good job of pointing out some of the effects abuse had on Irene and Gil's kids. Perhaps they would have been outgoing, playful, and substance free had they been loved and encouraged to succeed.
ReplyDeleteI like that you highlighted the fact that abuse is indeed a CYCLE, and never a one time occurence. This wasn't heavily concentrated on in the novel, but if you have an eye for abusive cycles (especially if you have personally lived through one), then it was really obvious that Gil would just make those kids and Irene cycle through the crazy, and buy them presents to "fix everything" before starting a new game. It's interesting to know the effects Gil and Irene's behavior had on their children as they grew up... clearly, it's not something you want to deal with the repercussions of.
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